This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Naked Twister starts at high noon
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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