you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
How does it feel to date your dad?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
