you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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