im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
