Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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