Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
