You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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