so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
