i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Randomize
