We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
