I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
