dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Floor bacon is actually really good
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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