Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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