2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
