You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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