the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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