Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
