Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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