Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
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