Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize