Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
