I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
