So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize