I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
