I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
