I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
