I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you would pick up someone in the library
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
