btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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