I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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