it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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