Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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