he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
