Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
