If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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