I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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