Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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