what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
