It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize