Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize