Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
