Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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