I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize