Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
