I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
If that was your dad, he is hot
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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