Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
