Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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