Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
