Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
