thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
In America we eat man semen.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize