none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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