I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
