i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
