dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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