I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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