My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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