i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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