apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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