Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
