The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
