Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
